August 27th, 2015

Kinsky, California, USA

Rodrigo

It was only a few weeks since he had transferred, but Rodrigo already understood the social dynamics of his new high school.

He had gotten used to moving from school to school, so this was a skill that he had built up as a form of survival. His role was the class clown – the kid who acted up, who teachers hated but classmates laughed at, who never belonged to any special clique. And Kinsky High did have its cliques, just like every other school. There was just one interesting exception.

The most popular group of kids was a segment of juniors his age that came from all types of backgrounds. One was the STUGO president, another a basketball player, and a few were in choir. But the one who interested him most was a fresh face on the football team, one he knew he shared one or two classes with but for the most part stayed away from. After all, he knew the social dynamics – those people were all out of his league.

But one day a chance encounter caused things to change. During PE class – one of those classes they were in together – they played on the basketball court. Rodrigo wasn’t the best player, but he was good enough to beat most of his fellow juniors. And as luck would have it, Maurice – who fared much better in football than basketball – was also on his team for the day.

The two went on a hot streak rather quickly. Maurice noticed Rodrigo was a good shooter, so using his superior height he would grab the ball, pass it down lane to Rodrigo, and Rodrigo would perform a jump shot long before any of the other team could get there. Even the two members of the basketball team – who fortunately were on their side – were impressed. As part of a fun little segment at the end the teacher determined the offensive and defensive player of the game – it was Rodrigo and Maurice, respectively.

“Good plays, man.”

Rodrigo heard the voice behind him while getting dressed in the locker room after the game. It was Maurice.

Rodrigo smirked. “A short guy is only as good as the tall guy who grabs the ball for him.”

Maurice chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. I feel like I’ve seen you outside this class before. Are you in-”

“Herbmeier, Algebra?”

“Ah, I thought so.” Maurice took off his gym shirt. Rodrigo quickly looked away. “That class kicks my ass, man. And my sister is no help because she’s in Precalc. You any good at it?”

“Nah, I can’t do a math problem to save my fuckin’ life.”

Maurice laughed again. “Well, maybe two brains are better than one. You want to try studying together?”

Rodrigo looked back at him. “Sure. Why not. Maybe we’ll elevate our Ds to Cs.”

After that fated encounter, things began to roll much more quickly. The two met every Thursday after school for studying, then greeted each other in the hallways, then began to schedule hangouts on the weekends – just between the two of them.

And the entire time, Rodrigo loved it. He also hated it, all the same.

Maurice began to become a symbol of everything Rodrigo could have if the circumstances of his life were different. If he lived in a suburb instead of a trailer park, if he was white kid instead of a first-generation hispanic. If he was attracted to girls instead of boys.

Some days, after he’d spend an afternoon with Maurice, he’d go home to his bed and cry. Sometimes for an hour, sometimes for two. He wasn’t a big crier – the last time he did was when he lost his father almost a decade before. But it was all so much. He spent his whole life not fitting in – now he was attracted to a boy he wasn’t even sure was queer himself, a person who could cause his whole life to spiral down all over again if he did the wrong thing.

One day, he was helping clean up in the music room – his last class. He hadn’t seen Maurice much that day, nor did he have any plans to. Instead, he met someone else.

“Hey… you’re Rodrigo, right?”

Rodrigo turned around. There was a girl standing there, his same age, with a blonde ponytail and a pair of blue eyes. He recognized her as one of Maurice’s friends.

“Yeah, you’re, uhh…”

“Kat,” the girl said, smiling at him.

Rodrigo scratched the back of his head. “I could’ve gotten it. You just had to give me a few more seconds.”

Kat giggled. “Sorry. Thanks for cleaning up, by the way. You need help?”

“Nah, I got it. You’re in choir, right?”

“Wow, look at you! You’ve been to a concert before?”

Rodrigo got embarrassed. “Uhh… yeah. Maurice told me about it.”

Kat put her hand on her hip. “If you heard about it from Maurice, why didn’t you tell him you wanted to go? You could’ve come with us, met the whole crew.”

“Y-yeah, I could’ve. I just…” Rodrigo stopped putting away chairs and sat on one, his head suddenly hanging low. “Just not good at talking to people, I guess.”

Kat sat down on a chair next to him. “Maurice talks about you all the time, you know. You’d fit right in. The others don’t bite – I promise.”

Rodrigo smirked, pressing his hands together. “Sorry if I’m laying it on thick, hermana… but I’ve always been a loner at heart. To tell you the truth, this is the closest I’ve gotten to any sort of friend group. But I’m also afraid that, if I’m not careful, I’ll fly right into the sun. I’ve never done good with any people, let alone a couple of popular kids that seem to come with every possible specialization. I don’t have anything.”

“You want to know the one thing we have in common?”

Rodrigo turned. “What you mean?”

“You said we come from every specialization. But there’s one thing that ties us all together.”

“And what’s that?”

“We all started out lonely.”

Rodrigo sighed, and leaned back in his seat, acting nonchalant. “Alright, alright. I’ll think about it.”

“You should. I think you’d be a good fit.” Kat began walking to the door to the choir room when she suddenly stopped again. “And you didn’t lay it on thick. Honestly, it’d be a lot better if most guys were as straightforward with their feelings as you are.”

Rodrigo shook his head, bringing his leg up to his knee. “I’m just the class clown, that’s all.”

Kat turned to him, smiling. “Hah. You wish.”

With that, the girl left the room. The interaction made Rodrigo feel strange. Perhaps it was time to finally take the risk he had been avoiding for so long.