October 17th, 2016

Kinsky, California, USA

Janus, II

“I’m sorry.”

Cole had been taking notes. He looked back up when Sadja said this. “Huh?”

“I’m sorry. I lied to you. I lied to Maria.” Sadja wiped a tear from her eye. She didn’t look directly at Cole. “I do remember that conversation. I think about it every single day. I’m just… I was just afraid.”

“It’s okay, Sadja.” Cole stood up, putting the notepad back in his coat. “I’m glad you told us. This helps a lot. Thank you.”

Sadja didn’t respond. Cole began to walk to the door when she stopped him.

“Cole, I know you and Maria found out the truth. About what happened to Anita.”

Cole turned around. Sadja looked down into her lap.

“I don’t know what happened, but I know you do. I need you to promise me something…” She looked up, and Cole could now see the wet streaks down her eyes which marked the path of her tears. “Whatever happened… I don’t want to know. Promise me you’ll never tell me what happened, okay? I don’t want to know. I don’t think I can live with knowing.”

The room was quiet, save for the slight hum of a ventilator above Cole’s head. 

He nodded. “I promise.”

Sadja looked back down. “Okay.”

Cole left the room. Sadja was alone.

…

It was later in the day now. Maria sat on a bench, watching the surface of the lake. There was a duck with a troupe of chicks that followed it, and Maria observed them quietly. After some time Cole appeared, sitting down next to her and placing his backpack on the other side of the bench.

“You know, it’s funny. I don’t go by this lake that much.” Maria kept looking at the ducks. “It’s right by the house, but… I dunno. Some things you just take for granted.”

“Lukas lives on the lake, you know.” Cole pointed out into the trees beyond. “Around there, I think.”

Maria smiled. “Oh, wow. We’re pretty much neighbors, then.”

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

Maria finally turned to face him. “So, what did Sadja say?”

Cole scooted up on the bench. “It was true, she did have a conversation with Anita. She was just afraid to tell you about it.”

“Afraid we’d blame her if she admitted it to us?”

Cole shook his head. “Afraid what would happen if she admitted it to herself, I guess.”

“Well… what happened?”

“Nothing conclusive, but Anita mentioned that she was afraid of someone, ‘who hurts girls’. And based on that, it means…”

“…they’ve gotta be a male.”

Cole turned towards her. He nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, that’s true. Either way, we can eliminate Sadja. It wasn’t her.”

Maria looked back out onto the lakefront, rubbing her gloved hands together. “I’m still not sure about Aaron. Everything he told me this morning… it lines up to what Rose said. But I don’t know.”

Cole shrugged, looking away. “If he’s always been with Rose, then there’s not much of an opportunity for him to have done anything.”

“Yeah… yeah, I know. I don’t know if it’s him anymore. I don’t want to mark him off just yet, though.”

There was a pause. Waves from the lake hit the shoreline.

“So, I guess that just leaves Lorenzo.”

“Mhmm.”

Cole looked at Maria’s face, who peered intently into the distance. “So, how do you want to handle it?”

“I’ll do it. He knows me better. I’ll just tell you if I get anything out of him.”

Cole looked down. He nodded. “When will he come in?” 

“Tonight, at around 5. We’ll have dinner, I’ll talk to him afterwards. Nothing accusatory, I’ll just make it seem like I want to know if he caught anything that was off about her.”

Cole got up from the bench, slinging his backpack back over his shoulders. “Alright. Sounds like a plan.”

Before Cole could get away, Maria stopped him. “Hey, Cole?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel like… I haven’t given you enough thanks recently. For everything you’ve done. So… thanks. Not just for the investigation, either. But for keeping me grounded.”

Cole turned to her. She had one of those now rare smiles on her face. But Cole still felt a little uneasy.

“Yeah, of course.” He replied, stumbling to get a smile himself. “You can remember that you’ve always got me.”

“And I’m glad I do.”

…

Lorenzo wore a graphic t-shirt showcasing The Avengers, along with some slim fit jeans. Maria led him into the living room, where he saw that the couch was already converted into a bed. 

“Wow, this is nice!” Lorenzo looked around, smiling. “Much better than my little apartment. Got a TV and everything.”

Maria smiled patiently. “Well, you know, make yourself at home. How long are you going to be staying again?”

“Just the weekend. Your mom wanted help with some, uh… changes in the backyard.”

“Yeah, she told me that much. I can help too, you know.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll need too much help. But I’ll keep that in mind.”

He pulled his suitcase onto the sofa bed, and began to unzip it while Maria watched.

“Hey, you’ve been getting enough sleep?” Lorenzo asked. “You got those bags under your eyes.”

“Oh, I…” Maria stumbled for something to say. “I’ve been trying to get some more.”

Lorenzo sat down on the bed. He looked up at Maria, smiling. “I remember when I was in high school, especially in senior year. Many sleepless nights, that’s for sure. Just hope that for you it’s been to study and not to party.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Lorenzo turned his attention back to the suitcase. He opened it up and began taking a few items out. Maria sat down at the armchair, leaning in to watch him.

“Hey Lorenzo, I wanted to ask you some stuff while you were here. Stuff about Anita.”

He turned his head. “Oh?”

“I know that, whenever you stayed here, you watched over her a lot. I just wanted to see if you noticed any changes in her behavior, over time.”

He sighed. “Maria, are you still on the… suicide thing?”

Maria’s expression changed. “What… what are you talking about?”

“Your mother told you, prima. Her death was an accident. It couldn’t be avoided. Children don’t commit suicide – they’re too innocent for that. They get corrupted later, and-”

“There’s nothing corrupted about suicide,” Maria suddenly countered, beginning to raise her voice.

Lorenzo backed down. “I-I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. I don’t… think suicide is a sin, just so you know.” He began to rub his knees, rocking himself while he thought of the right thing to say. “What I’m trying to say, Maria, is… we don’t know how she was feeling. So I think your mother was right. I think… I agree, that it was an accident.”

Of course, Maria had more than just a hunch. But she knew she couldn’t play all her cards yet. She decided to approach things from a different angle.

“Just… humor me, then.” She looked down. A draft from the ceiling fan moved the hair from her eyes. “Did you notice any change in Anita’s behavior? Did she say anything off?”

The ceiling fan continued to hum. Lorenzo shook his head. “Sorry, chica. I just don’t think there’s anything to this.”

It was going nowhere. She decided to let a little bit more through.

“Anita was afraid, Lorenzo. She told Sadja and I that she was afraid someone would hurt her. There’s more to this, and you and mom just won’t see it!”

Lorenzo got up from the bed. He walked forward and touched Maria’s shoulders gently.

“Maria, look at you. You’re grieving. Someone you love — your hermanita — just died, out of the blue, and now your brain wants an explanation. It needs something, anything. But it’s not there, girl. And even if there was, what help would it be? She’s gone, prima. She isn’t coming back. It’s not time for you to chase after mysteries. It’s time for you to heal.”

Maria didn’t quite realize what was happening until she felt the warmth run down her cheeks. She noticed her eyes were twitching, the tears falling down into her lap, her breath whimpering. Lorenzo moved his arms away, but kept standing. His countenance changed.

“Have you been talking to Cole?”

Maria looked up, fresh tears still falling from her eyes. “What?”

Lorenzo shook his head. “I think he’s a bad influence on you, Maria. I think all those boys are. Not that they’re bad people, just… they feed your delusions. They want to be nice to you, so they say yes to whatever you bring up. They help you. But it’s bad, for both of you.”

Maria didn’t say anything. Her demeanor changed, outside of her control, to pure anger. Her eyes looked into Lorenzo’s like a hawk. But she didn’t say anything.

Eventually, she got up. “I’m going to sleep,” she mentioned monotonically, wiping her eyes with her sweatshirt. She began walking off.

“Just consider what I said, alright?”

Maria turned around. She was about to blurt something out, but with her last shed of discipline she stopped herself and walked out of the room.

…

Cole was falling asleep in his desk chair. A soft-sounding house song rang into his ear through his headphones. He was jolted awake when the song was interrupted by a FaceTime call notification. It was from Maria.

Maria was sitting up in her bed. She smiled as Cole came on. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Cole got up from the chair and moved over to his own bed. “How’d the talk with Lorenzo go?”

“Oh, absolutely fucking awful.” She peeked down onto the ground. “Sorry, I gotta be quiet. He’s sleeping right below me.”

Cole leaned up against his bed frame. “You wanna talk about it?”

Maria thought for a moment. “No, actually. I just want to see you.”

Cole shrugged. “Alright, then,” He slid down the bed frame until he was lying in bed. “You ready for the Chem test?”

Maria smiled. “Oh, God. I don’t even think I’ve studied for it yet.”

“That’s what I was doing before you called. Well, trying to do. I don’t think my brain can handle this whole electron thing.”

Maria lied down onto her own bed. “Yeah, I should probably get on that. But I’ve got time. It isn’t until next Friday, right?”

“Mhmm.”

“Emily offered to help me, I should probably take advantage of that.” Maria stretched out her arms and legs. “What about Halloween? You ready for it?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I guess.”

“You know what you’re gonna be yet?”

“I mean… I don’t usually dress up anymore.”

“That’s disappointing.” Maria turned in her bed, lying on her side as she put the phone in front of her. “Me and the girls are gonna go over to Kat’s on the 25th. Try and find some ideas for costumes.”

“Sounds fun.”

Maria thought for a moment. “Hey… if you aren’t going to bother trying to find a costume for yourself, would you be open to matching costumes?”

“You mean, like, with you?”

“Yeah. I think it’d be cute. You ever done it before?”

Cole turned to his side, opposite of where Maria was. His phone let him be face to face with her.

“Yeah, once. In 2nd grade. Lukas, Kat, and I dressed up as the Power Rangers. I was the Green Ranger, Kat was the Pink Ranger, Lukas was the Red Ranger. Something like that.”

Maria smiled brightly. “Oh wow, that sounds precious. Do you have any pictures from it?”

“I’m sure Kat does.”

Maria lifted her phone back up, lying down again on her back. “God, I can’t believe it’s still another month until fall break. I just need some time to… do nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“Oh, I feel that.”

“What I would give to just, guilt-free, stay in bed all day. Pop The Office on my laptop. Get some cake. What was the cake we got for my birthday, again?”

“Uhh… Blue Mountain, I think. The ice cream cake.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right! With the vanilla inside, the kind of ice cream that just melts in your…” Maria trailed off. Suddenly, her eyes widened. A realization hit her. “Oh my God, Cole.”

Cole got up from his bed, taking the phone in his hand. “What? What is it?” He spoke with concern.

“Cole, it couldn’t have been Aaron.” Maria sat back up as well. “When I told Kat to find Sadja, it was because we were getting ready to eat the cake. But when Aaron made Anita cry, that would’ve been before. Which means…”

“…she would have already known Aaron was at the party.” Cole finished her sentence.

“And if Anita was worried about someone hurting her, that means that Aaron wouldn’t have been the one she was thinking of.” 

Maria gave out a deep, long sigh. She tossed her phone to the edge of the bed and fell back down onto her back. Cole, despite not being able to see her, could hear her start to laugh.

“Oh, thank God, it was none of us. Thank God, it was none of us!” She put her hands onto her face. “It was someone else. It wasn’t one of our friends. Oh, thank you, Dios.”

Cole didn’t have quite the same level of enthusiasm. A look of worry crossed his face. Still, he didn’t say anything.

Maria picked back up her phone and faced Cole yet again. “Well, it looks like it’s midnight. I don’t want to keep you from studying for too long. Good night, Cole.”

“Good night, Maria. Try to get some sleep, okay?”

She smirked. “I’ll try. Seeya.”

“Bye.”

The call ended. Cole placed the phone off onto his end table, and laid in his bed, arms outstretched, staring up at the ceiling.