September 28th, 2016

Kinsky, California, USA

The Funeral

Kat wore a well-ironed black dress, with a small handbag hung around her shoulder. As she walked up the stairs to the church, she saw Maurice sitting on its porch. He wore the same suit he had to Homecoming.

“Hey, Kat.” He gave a small smile.

“Hey, Maurice,” she smiled back, patting him on the shoulder and heading inside.

The church’s interior felt massive, with grand windows guiding sunlight to the pews. Near the entrance was a small table, which had a decoration of flower bouquets resting on its surface. In the center of the table was a picture of Anita, a recent one from the family album. A plaque at the bottom read:

ANITA ESTELLE CORTEZ

DECEMBER 5th 2009 – AUGUST 24th 2016

“My peace I leave with you, my love I bring to you: what the world not giveth, I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid.”

Kat felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Isaac.

She looked at him in surprise. “You’re here early.” 

Isaac smiled at her. “Some things in life you show up early to.”

Isaac led Kat to their seats in the main hall. Inside there was a large projector, which played a slideshow of images of Anita. One was the picture with Maria at the beach. Another was the one of her dressed as a princess. Many more played, some of which Kat had never seen before. A light, voiceless guitar track accompanied them.

Next to them sat Aaron and Rose. Rose had a small pack of tissues in her lap, but she didn’t look like she was crying. Aaron had his hand over hers. They looked up and greeted the other couple with mournful smiles.

“Is anyone else here yet?” Kat whispered to them.

“Sadja is with Maria. Emily, Maurice, and Ash are here too. Cole was here but I don’t know where he went.” Rose thought for a moment. “That reminds me, actually. I should… um… check on them, see how they’re doing.”

The other three nodded in confirmation to her. Rose got up, walking briskly past the altar towards a side room. As she walked, she saw another man leave the room. He was Latino and wore a dress shirt under a vest. His hair was slicked down and he had a soul patch on his chin. Rose nodded towards him, and smiled.

“Hi, Lorenzo.”

The man nodded back. “Hola, Rose.”

After he walked past, Rose went inside. It was a small dressing room, and in the corner Maria sat reading off a torn-off piece of notebook paper. Sadja was pacing back and forth behind a small, worn couch.

“Hey, girls.” Rose tried to say it cheerfully but it fell flat. They greeted her as she sat down at the couch.

Maria looked up from the paper. “Hey, Rose… you seen Cole anywhere?”

Rose nodded. “He was outside. I don’t know if he still is.”

Maria got up from her seat, and headed towards the door. As she did, Sadja sat next to Rose and the two began talking to each other, though Maria did not hear what they said. 

She didn’t have to walk far before she found Cole, walking towards the front row of pews. She waved at him, and Cole came towards her.

Cole spoke first. “Hey, Maria…” There was a look of genuine worry on his face. “I’m sorry but, is it okay if I don’t talk at the ceremony?” 

Maria gave him a comforting nod. “All that matters is that you’re here. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks. I know I promised to, and I was, but then I… I just…” Cole struggled for the right words to say. Maria took hold of his arm. 

“Cole, it’s okay.” She spoke the words softly.

The two heard the church door open. It was Lukas, who carried a bouquet in his hand. He placed the bouquet on the table and then took turns hugging both Maria and Cole.

“You guys ready?” he asked them.

Maria nodded, though her face looked unsure. “Yeah. I should head back, make sure that everything is prepared to start.” She was about to walk off when Cole stopped her.

“Maria… you need anything-”

“-and I’ll let you know,” she answered. The two smiled at each other, and Maria departed.

Lukas and Cole took their seats beside Ash and Emily. Maurice came in a bit later with Rodrigo, and the two sat on their other flank. 

Lukas leaned into Cole. “Did Maria invite Rus?”

Cole shook his head. “I mean, she still doesn’t know him that well. Didn’t want to… you know, invite him to a funeral as a first-time hangout session.”

Lukas nodded. “Makes sense.”

The three girls left the dressing room. Emily checked her watch, and saw that the ceremony was about to begin.

“Is Mrs. Cortez here?” Ash whispered to her.

“I think she’s with Lorenzo. They’re gonna sit, up on those chairs…” Emily pointed to behind the altar, where three black chairs sat. “… when the ceremony starts.”

Maurice turned towards Rodrigo. “You know, it’s funny. I always thought Hispanic families were supposed to be really big.”

Rodrigo leaned forward, resting his arms and head on the pew in front of him. “No, not always. The Huertas are just me, mi mama, and auntie. We do have more family in Mexico, but… you know.”

Maurice tilted his head towards Maria, as she moved up to her spot onstage. “Think she has the same situation?”

Rodrigo shook his head. “Don’t know. Never asked her.” 

The projection cut out. A minister — tall and white with glasses and thinning hair — came out of another room with Mrs. Cortez. Aaron tapped Kat on the shoulder.

“Your dad showing up?”

“Oh, no… he’s out at work.”

Aaron looked at her skeptically. “He paid for the whole thing, and then he didn’t show for it?”

“My dad’s weird like that. Some sort of… masculine sense of chivalry, I don’t know.”

Aaron shrugged, looking out at the altar as the minister and Mrs. Cortez made their way up. “I think it was nice.”

“Yeah…” Kat whispered to herself. “I just wish the place didn’t feel so empty.” 

The minister got up on stage first. He looked over the audience before him, all of which had refused to sit in the first row and instead opted for the second or third, for whatever reason of their own. He prepared his notes on the altar. As he began to speak, Sadja took a quick seat next to Isaac.

“Today’s ceremony is being held to memorialize Anita Estelle Cortez, a young girl who brightened the world around her, and gave love and joy to the many who had known her well.”

Cole felt himself tense up, his hands squeezing in his lap.

“Anita, or ‘Sweet Anita’ as she is often called, was the second daughter of Gabriel and Sandra Cortez, and the sister to Maria Cortez. She was born in Pueblo Rojo, Arizona, where she lived with a large, close-knit community of friends and family. In 2015 she moved with her parents and sister here, to the great town of Kinsky, in order for them to pursue new opportunities. Here she once again found love, meeting new classmates and friends for which she made life all the better.”

The minister looked up from his notes. Those in attendance were looking at him, intent yet melancholic. He turned over to the family, who sat with their heads down, staring at the concrete floor. He looked back at his notes.

“I know that the family requested a short ceremony. I also know that many of you want to talk about your own memories of Anita. So, I’ll leave you with this: know that, while Anita may be gone from us now, she has reached the kingdom of Heaven. For all children are God’s children, and when they pass away, they reach his arms at the Holy Gates. Amen.”

The minister walked away from the stage. Lorenzo and Maria looked at each other. Maria got up first.

Given all the events of the past few weeks, Maria looked incredibly composed. She took the notebook paper she had been holding, and creased it onto the podium desk. Her face was calm, and the others looked on at her carefully.

“I was asked to give my best memories of Anita. But the truth is, I couldn’t choose. All my memories of my sister… were that of a loving girl, one who cared for the people around her unconditionally. Anita had a way, when you were around her, of making you feel better. It’s funny because… because adults are supposed to do that for their kids, and not the other way around. But when you had a bad day, she would notice, and she would try… gently, to cheer you up. She would get you to forget whatever was wrong.”

Maria looked up, away from the paper. She thought for a moment, with the sudden urge to go off-script. When she finally had what she wanted to say, she smiled to herself.

“I remember, she always wanted to be a veterinarian. She had this little stuffed dog that she named Appy. It was because our real dog, Apple… we called him Appy. Anyway, she would carry Appy around everywhere, and she would always have this… toy stethoscope thing, in her ears. So sometimes we would ask her, ‘How’s Appy?’ And she would put the end of the stethoscope on its chest, and wait a few seconds, then turn back and say, ‘Appy’s okay!’”

A few of the teens laughed. Maria laughed, too. But she felt things getting the better of her, and stopped for a moment. She looked up at the ceiling, blinking a few times.

Don’t cry.

She continued.

“And so, that’s what I would say I remember my sister best for. Being caring. Being thoughtful. Always being there, when… when you needed someone.” She took the paper in front of her, folding it back up into her hand. “Thank you.”

The audience clapped. Maria returned to her seat, with her mother putting her arm around the girl. Lorenzo got up next.

“I got to know Anita… when the Cortezes moved into Kinsky. I’m her cousin, you see, and we moved here… well, we moved here a few years before them. So yeah.”

Lorenzo didn’t have a script. He looked up, fumbling for the words he wanted to say.

“Courage. I would say that’s the word that best describes Anita to me. She was fearless! There were so many things that she did, that when I was her age, I wouldn’t have dared to do. One day, we were, uh…” He looked for the words again. “… we were hiking at Mount Oswald. And there was a path down the way that crossed over a little creek. It was like, you know… there was a tree trunk that had fallen, and it made a little bridge across the creek. I told Anita, ‘Wait for me!’, so that I could guide her across. But she just got up there, walked across it, and got down with no issue. Actually, she was the one who had to help get me across, haha!” There were a few polite laughs. “So, yeah. That’s what I remember about her. She was a fearless young woman, and I’ll miss her. Amen.”

There was clapping, though not as strongly as there had been during Maria’s speech. As a transition occurred for Sadja and Rose to get on stage, Lukas quickly got up, and walked over into the bathroom. 

He washed his hands in the basin, splashing some on his face. The door opened, and Maurice entered as well. He went over to the basin next to Lukas.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Maurice spoke, looking at himself in the mirror. “I didn’t know Anita that well, but… it all still stings. Real bad.”

Lukas nodded, putting soap on his hands. “I think a lot of it has to do with… what happened, you know. If it were a car accident, or she had cancer or something, that would’ve been one thing. But this…”

There was a long period of silence that followed this. After a while, Maurice turned off his faucet.

“Our dad committed suicide. I don’t know if Emily ever told you that.”

Lukas stopped washing his hands. The words caught him by surprise. 

“N-no, she didn’t.”

“It happened a long time ago. Neither of us remember it, fortunately. But… the man had a hard life, and I guess he just couldn’t deal with it anymore.” Maurice grabbed a towel, beginning to dry his hands. But he stopped, and held it tightly. The boy didn’t look directly at Lukas, but Lukas could tell that emotion was stirring within him.

“Little girls shouldn’t be killing themselves. I know that much,” Maurice finally said. He went back to drying his hands.

Lukas began drying his hands as well. “Yeah. I know that, too.”

The two left the bathroom in time to watch Rose get up on stage. She had her phone on the podium desk, which had an app open that held a few lines of notes. 

“My favorite memory of Sweet Anita was last year. It was after… Mr. Cortez had left, and Maria mentioned to me that they needed help around the house. Now, I had never been to the Cortez house before this. I had seen Anita before, but… I didn’t really talk to her at all. And I was kind of freaking out, you know, because… I’m terrible with kids. But this was for Maria, my homegirl — my chica — so I figured I’d give it a shot. The first night I babysit her, it’s just us. Maria is working at her job, and so is Mama Cortez. So I’m looking at all these notes Maria left me, and… it becomes real obvious, real quick, that I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m a mess. So this little girl, she comes over to me… and in this really authoritative tone, she’s like, ‘Okay, well first I have my snack. Then we go play. Then I watch TV while you cook dinner. Then, we eat dinner…’. And, the entire time I’m just thinking, ‘Well great, now this kid is bossing me around!’” 

There was another big set of laughter. Rose laughed, but unlike Maria she didn’t try to stop the tears. She just let them flow.

“A-and so, I just… I-I do what she tells me, and we get to the end of the night, right before Maria comes home… a-and when I’m tucking her in, she says… ‘You know what? I think you did a great job.’”

Rose didn’t formally end her speech. She was too busy trying to stop her crying. As she left the podium, a loud applause could be heard. She sat back next to Aaron, who embraced her and kissed her on the forehead. Kat also leaned forward and gently rubbed her back.

Sadja stood up to the podium next. She first looked over at Kat, who gave her a supportive smile in response. She repeated the process with Maria – Maria gave her the same support.

“I saw a lot of myself in Anita, I think. I grew up with my mom, and her boyfriend. I had my sister, too, but she was much older than me. A lot of the time they were gone, and I had to fend for myself. I think Anita had to do that, too. And she was good at it, real good. She had this sort of… independence, that I don’t think a lot of girls her age have. I think Rose and Lorenzo’s stories told that well. And she was… wise beyond her years. She was strong. Really strong.”

Sadja looked down. She thought about adding more. The words had almost come out of her mouth, but she stopped before they did.

“Yeah… I think that’s all I wanted to say.”

There was one final round of clapping, as Sadja got off the podium. Mrs. Cortez looked at Maria and whispered something. Maria shook her head, then helped her mother get up from her seat.

Cole was still tense. Lukas turned to his friend and patted him on the back. 

“Come on, let’s go,” Lukas said. The others were getting up, heading into the same room that the minister and Mrs. Cortez had originally come from.

There was a small dining set up in the room, with some tables and chairs spread out and a buffet table against the opposite wall. 

Maria sat with her family and the minister. Cole and Lukas took a seat at an empty table. 

“That was nice,” Lukas mentioned.

“Yeah. Yeah, it was.” Cole seemed unsure.

The two heard some footsteps approaching behind them. They turned around and saw Kat and Isaac.

“Hey,” Kat said, pointing to the table. “Mind if we sit here?”

Lukas had successfully not thought about the two for the entire day, only to have it now ruined. To make matters worse, Cole was the first to answer.

“Yeah, sure,” he answered. Kat smiled and sat down to his right, with Isaac next to her. 

“Hey, you want me to get you something?” Isaac leaned over and asked Kat. She thought about it, and nodded.

“Just a little bit… of whatever they have.”

Isaac got up, walking over to the buffet line. Cole looked over at Lukas, then looked over at Kat, then back to Lukas.

“You know, I think I’ll get something too.” Cole smiled, getting up from his seat and walking over to the line with Isaac. 

Lukas kept his head down. Kat leaned over the table towards him. 

“So, how are you feeling?” she asked.

Lukas thought about the question for a second. “I’m… doing well,” he lied.

Kat leaned back. “I feel like it’s been forever since we talked. How have you been doing — you know, outside of all this?”

“Oh, well, uh… things have been fine. Chem is kicking my ass, as per usual.”

Kat giggled. “How’d you do on the English paper?”

“Um, I did… pretty well.”

“Specifics, Luke.”

The name hit something within Lukas. He tried to shrug it off. 

“Uh… I got a 97.”

A smile crossed Kat’s face, as well as a look of surprise. “Wait, so does that mean that was your essay that Mr. Vince read?”

Lukas got nervous. He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, um… I guess.”

“I thought it was great! Sure was a lot better than the chicken scratch I made.”   

“Oh, I’m sure yours wasn’t that bad-”

“Easy for you to say. You didn’t read it.”

“Not this time, at least.”

“Probably why it sucked so bad.”

The two looked at each other. There was a smile on Lukas’ face now. Both laughed.

Sadja came up to their table not long after. “Can I take this seat?” she asked, pointing to the last open spot at the table.

Kat and Lukas looked away from each other. Both nodded to Sadja in unison.

Over at the buffet table, Isaac and Cole struck up a conversation.

“So, you and Maria doing alright?” Isaac asked.

Cole looked a bit confused. “I mean… uh, yeah. I think Maria is doing alright, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I mean, you two are with each other all the time now. Just thought you were a thing.”

Cole, slightly embarrassed, checked to make sure Maria was out of earshot range. She was. 

“We aren’t a thing. I’ve just been helping her, is all.” 

“Be careful, man. Claiming it’s nothin’ usually leads to it being somethin’.”

Cole gave him a look. “You just worry about yourself, alright?”

Isaac smiled. “Straight. I’m just messin’ with you.”

At the same time all this was happening, the remaining teens – Rose, Aaron, Ash, Rodrigo, Maurice, and Emily – began to form their own tables.

The group all congregated to one table at first, which led Rodrigo to suddenly walk towards a table on the farther end of the room. Maurice looked towards him, then turned back at group. “Uh… I think I’ll sit with Rodrigo, over there.” He pointed to where Rodrigo was headed.

Emily, who was about to sit next to Ash, pivoted. “Oh, I’ll sit next to you guys!” 

Maurice nodded. The two left, leaving Rose, Aaron, and Ash sitting together.

Rose rotated in her seat over to Ash. “So, how’s my favorite badass bitch doing?”

Ash, embarrassed by the very Rose-like question, blushed. “Oh, uh, I’m… uh, I’m good.”

Aaron smiled, looking at Rose. “Jeez, don’t scare her.” He got up from his seat, and pointed down at the two. “I’ll get you girls something to eat, alright?”

Rose waved at him. “Thanks, babe.” Ash gave a little nod in response.

After Aaron walked off, Rose turned back towards the blue-haired teen. “So, I heard you were trying to get into Alto. How’s that been going so far?”

“Oh, I mean, there hasn’t really been too much. They still need to go through all the first-round applications.”

“What about that one painting you were working on? The storm thing?”

Ash smiled. “Oh no, that’s my capstone. It won’t be finished for a while.”

Rose gave her a sly smirk back. “You are a busy girl.”

Ash giggled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Aaron came back with two plates of food, sitting them in front of each of the girls. When he sat back in his chair, Rose eyed him suspiciously.

“You didn’t get yourself anything?”

Aaron shrugged. “I’m not hungry.”

Rose only looked more confused. “You, aren’t hungry?”

“Guess not.”

At the other table, Emily, Rodrigo, and Maurice sat with their plates. Maurice picked longingly at his food, his mind off in other places.

Emily looked down at his progress. “Hey, you should eat something. It’s getting cold.”

Rodrigo looked at her, his elbows on the table. “He’s a big boy, you know.”

Emily turned in his direction. “I know. I’m just trying to be a good older sister, is all.”

Maurice sighed, sticking his fork into a couple of noodles. “Older by what, a few hours?”

Emily gave a little laugh. “I guess sometimes I get ahead of myself, y’know?”

After the dinner ended, people began to scatter across the church. Rodrigo and Sadja left, and the remaining others conversed in the main hall and dining room.

In the dining room, Cole saw Mrs. Cortez sitting alone, and took a seat by her. 

“Hey, Mama Cortez. It’s been awhile.”

The woman’s frail old eyes moved up to meet Cole. A smile glazed itself across her face. “Hello, Cole. It has been awhile. How are you?”

“Oh, um… you know, classes are doing well, and all.”

“That’s good. Classes are important.”

He scooted up to the table, resting his arm on its surface. “So, what about you? How are things?”

“Well, I don’t want to complain… the work, you know, puts a lot of stress on mi niña. You’ve been treating her well, haven’t you?”

Cole blushed, tapping his fingers against the table. “Uh, yeah. I try.”

Mrs. Cortez smiled. “I know you have. She talks a lot about you, she does. The accident has taken a lot out of her, you know.”

Cole stopped tapping. A look of confusion crossed his face when he looked back up at the woman. “Mrs. Cortez… if you don’t mind me asking…” He leaned into the table, looking at her. “What do you mean, when you say ‘accident’?”

Mrs. Cortez looked down, shaking her head. “Oh, you know Cole. This has been terrible, absolutely. But it’s common, too common. I was reading, on the internet, of the many cases of girls… girls and boys, Anita’s age, getting themselves stuck in things, just by playing. And they try to get themselves unstuck, but they can’t. It’s terrible, Cole. Muy terrible.”

Cole’s eyes widened. A sudden realization grasped his mind. His throat scrunched up and it caused him to cough loudly. He turned away from Mrs. Cortez as he did, then, hesitantly, turned back to her while he feigned a smile.

“Hey, ah… I forgot something I wanted to tell someone. I’ll be right back, though. Is… is that okay?”

Mrs. Cortez kept her elderly smile. “Of course, Cole. Take your time.”

Cole walked briskly across the room towards Maria, who was next to the wall talking to Kat and Isaac. He tapped her politely on the shoulder, and whispered in her ear.

“We need to talk.”

Maria, understanding the dire tone in Cole’s voice, nodded and followed him as he walked her out to the back door of the church. The door led to a small grassy meadow that overlooked the cemetery. Cole closed the door behind him, and turned back to Maria.

“Did you not tell your mom that the death was ruled a suicide?”

Maria walked out to the grass, and sighed. “I did, Cole. I told her everything.”

“Then why did she just tell me that Anita’s death was an accident?”

“Because she doesn’t believe it!” Maria’s voice was rising, and she looked at Cole with a red face of frustration. “I told her everything! I told her about the suicide, I told her about what Anita had told me before she died, but she doesn’t believe me! She- she’s stuck in this little world of hers, and she won’t get out! She refuses to get out, Cole!”

Cole kept calm. He looked on at Maria, who fell down on her knees to the ground. Partially out of pity, partially out of recognition of the truth.

“But you didn’t tell her about the abuse, did you?”

Maria looked down into the grass. Her fingers clawed into the dirt, and she felt the tears form once more in her eyes. But this time, she couldn’t stop them even if she tried. Her head reluctantly shook, causing the tears to fall down and merge with the dew drops on the green blades. 

“No. N-no, I didn’t. I couldn’t. It would break her. It almost broke me.” 

Cole walked up to her. At some point she lost control, and her sobbing caused a steady stream to trickle down in the ground below her. She looked up at Cole, her voice breaking.

“Y-you don’t know what it’s like, Cole. Everyday, I wake up, thinking that all this… all this, was some sort of b-bad nightmare. But it’s not. I-It’s real, Cole. And I just want it… I want it to all be over. I just want to see my sister again.”

Cole put his hand on her shoulder, as she leaned back down to cry. He looked out, over the horizon. A vast, innumerable crowd of grave heads filled the meadows beyond the two, and the sunset cast a pinkish haze over it all.